Sooo…have you ever burnt yourself with a cigarette??? Eh?? Intentionally??? Ever watched hot liquid wax smolder your skin, drop after drop? Ever pricked on a wound? Disturbed an aching tooth for hours…until you could taste your own salty warm blood?? It hurts, doesn’t it? But if it puts a smile across your face, all that pain... and if you like that saline taste of your own blood read on...
Hi! I am Anugrah Bohrey and I am smoking… with each drag I mock my bronchitis and I fucking feel awesome. Two years back I volunteered for a “quit smoking” campaign for the D.U. campus… I told many to quit …even convinced a few…but could have I been a smellier dick? I smoke now and without a hint of guilt for it makes me either forget the “truth” or maybe deal with it or maybe my smoking is a repercussion/ramification of knowing the “truth”. This truth I know is, that I am insignificant, miniscule and negligible, that whatever I may do or undo I will be erased off this planet and it won’t make a difference to the universe…fuck me even the eradication of this planet won’t make a difference to the universe… I mean I may write stories, make movies, make ultra cool software …and what’s your face…..even find a cure for the fucking (this time used literally) syndrome, I will die. Nothing ...you know...is perpetual, humanity will be wiped off this planet alongwith Shakespeare's plays and Microsoft Windows, still... somehow I grew up learning that this universe revolves around me… that something good is always in store for me… that “god” will never let anything happen to me… that if I live according to the prescribed pattern my life will be “good”. that one day i will be a millionaire, marry a hottie who is too much for me in bed....and live happlily ever after with the slut and her bastards. But now it fucking pinches me… now that I have realized that I am decaying and deteriorating each day… that I am no better than a rotting egg, if I saw myself through a bigger and actual perspective.
“They” define “good/right/white” for me…
“They” define “bad/wrong/black” too…
What if “they” are wrong again as “they” were about the earth being flat. What if black actually is better than white… or may be nothing is better… what if good is as bad as bad and bad is as good as good.
What if pain is the real happiness and happiness is the real pain or both are equally good.
What if “they” all are but fools who entertain the sadistic god everyday.
So, is it wrong/right to kill people??
Is it wrong/right to fascinate nuns or maybe your siblings??
Is it wrong/right to abuse god??
What if it all started off on a wrong foot?? What if black was the real white…
What if smoking is actually “good” ...for the worst it can do is... kill……but seriously …did you really think….ahem!..(cough…cough)…damn!!! I like the saline taste.
