beloved Villains.............

Ever wondered why our indian villain (villian) bites the dust every time???? the answers is, the compassionate heart full of emotions and baby like innocent aspirations ........you don't agree??? ..... here is my detailed research on why our Goonda, inspite of having a hell of a personality loses.....wannabe gabbars, shaakals and mogambos ...take notes.

they trust the “new guy” no body knows:
I mean you are sitting up there, with an island of your own, with sophisticated (yet to be invented) weapons and an army of innumerable people ready to become the breakfast of the sharks just to please you…now with all that experience and intensity how the hell can you trust a new “handsome” guy. Seriously, if there is one guy that our villains love even more than their “sociopath” junior who eats cockroaches and rapes women and tortures kids in his free time, it's the new guy who joined the gang just before the cops suddenly started magically figuring out what they were going to do next.

killing their own people
Please, for God’s sake…get an X-box 360… why kill your own guys for fun (remember? You trained them for martial arts under a fake Hindi speaking Chinese and paid for those shining uniforms) Okay! I get your emotions, I understand… population is one of our biggest problems… but dude try and understand… our heroes can fight with 20 people single-handedly without even dropping their shades.

Having Extended Conversations with People who are Trying to Catch them:
Dude why do you keep doing that? Okay! May be you have a sense of humor and a lot of wit but why to test your intellect with an honest cop. It has been ages since you first knew that any police officer with properly dyed and combed hair, with all the buttons of his uniform properly done and with a sari clad beautiful wife and only child, is honest. Do not f**k with him, do not offer him a bribe, do not challenge him by telling him your plans and please do not check out his wife (‘cause tough she reveals her cleavage, she is the chastest women in the world, I doubt if even her husband touches her).

Nach Baliye:
Ok! So you appreciate the damn art? You love pelvic thrusts? When you were a boy it was your dream to judge a damn reality dance show? Ok, I get it…I am all sympathy but dude you have better things to do than watching the heroine dance… why to wait to launch that f**king missile. Dude you have no idea that when you and your men are busy analyzing weird dance forms the hero is slitting (slitting your people’s throats) his way to you.

Innovation:
Ha ha ha! What are you dude? You go to international conferences, trade idols for the most hi-tech. weapons only to “not” to use them???? Why to put people in some mystery liquid, or hang them upside down over hungry crocodiles, or tie them to a bomb which only blows up if the mice eat all the cheese??? Why? Why not just simply shoot them in head with that gun you bought from that Hitler body-double.

Extempore:
So, you were not selected for the dramatics club at your school? You were smitten by Shakespeare first when you were 12 and you still enact “to be or not to be…” from Hamlet in your loo? Trust me dude keep it there, But when you have the whole family tree of the hero in front of you don’t go on showing them your dialogue delivery ….just shoot them.