to your rescue....Superheroes......up, up and down ( damn you gravity)

yes, it's friday ( did someone say, "oye"? )......and i am back ....( and i dont have a gun)..........first, i thank all o' you, who ...devoted time and read my work ( detailed acknowledgement follows the post).......now, after advising our beloved villains .......i thought of helping another "minority"......yes, superheroes....they are big and colourful ........they can fly....and can do everything that we cant ( well, himesh is a freek of nature, he's an exeption ).... but trust me....with great power, comes great SHIT............so, after the semi-success.......of my do's and dont's for villains ......here is a piece for our superheroes ( more organized this time)......

Do watch one of your relatives/friends getting murdered that’s kind of a pre requisite for becoming a super hero.
Do not let the murderers see you see the act…it will be the end of the story.

Do go for science practicals, it’s the lab where you will get your powers by mistake.
Do not go for science theory classes, the story ends if you know your way around the lab.

Do wear undeez over pants: you don’t want to be in an identity crisis.
Don’t steal emblems e.g. S of superman or the bolt of flash, you don’t want your ass kicked and sued at the same time.

Do make your dream girl’s boy friend your first target; he gave you a really hard time.
Do not stop there, principal, mean professors, lout neighbour and the mean ticket collector should also be set right.

Do keep a subordinate, they always die first
Don’t ignore them and piss them off, they may go against you ( and remember these are the guys who know it all about that stone which makes you a sissy and that liquid you are allergic to).

Do stand on the highest point and keep an eye on the city; you’ll know where the hottest babes live.
Do not follow any thing that shines and is flying, you are a superhero…not some tuna fish… you can avoid unnecessary ass kicking (I mean your ass here).

Do date beautiful girls, I mean this is the time dude, no body remembers an old super hero.
Do not marry them they know you can cook food instantly with your laser beam and can dry clothes by your ultrasonic rotation.

Do endorse brands, make some money dude, companies will give you a fortune for sky campaigning for the airline passengers.
Do not go crazy endorsing brands…you are a super hero not mr. amitaabh bachchan

Do save your girlfriend when the villain brings forth you the clichéd make a choice scenario.
Do not save the bunch of Japanese tourists ( I wonder why the tourists are always Japanese) if they are the other option, be a patriot… Japan is an economic competitor of your country.

Do save every beautiful girl in distress, and don’t hesitate if she wants to reciprocate.
Do not go on saving every body …get a toll free number …help only those who ask for it or you might land up in the bedroom of a 90 yrs old couple having sex.

Do not sacrifice beautiful women…they need your super powers.
Do not indulge in unprotected sex…HIV virus does not spare super heroes.

Do consider a career in India, when old you can run for the prime minister.
Do not consider a career in India if you are spider man, your jurisdiction area will be too confined, either Nariman point or Barakhamba lane.

Do have a word with the villain(s), remember they entered the scene with you …almost at the same time …they can be relatives.
Do not drink excessively with them… when you visit them… they “might” not be your relatives.

And please remember…..if there is somebody you….respect a lot….who is a scientist and is not family…………kill him…he’s the bad guy…………


And now a word 'bout the amazing comments i got ........
@ bheesm: amazing dude......outlandish......the french would have loved your comment ( at cannes they always felicitate...the movie they hardly understand)

@ sourav: thanks man.... for doing what i should have...we all love mr. amrish puri...n' i hope anugrahism....keeps making sense to you.

@ preeti: trust me a thing fo' ur heroines ...coming up...( interesting that a girl mentions heroines ..is it the much hyped feminism...or.......whatever its one and the same thing.

@ rajat: you said, "r u jealous or paranoid ?? tat da first thing which came to my mind wen i read dis 1....newaz nice try." your intellect beats me....( or maybe you've learnt the word paranoid recently ....and wanted to use it real bad........well in that case...i understand).....

thank you seepika, atul, alfaaz, shubham, shekhu, chandana and sidhant .....

p.s . yogesh..... do you have a magazine of your own...., and sunny....was the chicken theory really "GOD"ly....(lolz...i kno 'twas a typing error)........